This list below was geared to parents that are raising a child with autism but I think these are good rules for all parents. Look folks, if you want to encourage your children to speak to you and others so that they can be understood, then you have to speak to them and not for them. Read, talk, discuss, expect answers, help them learn to phrase answers, but stop doing it FOR them. These rules can apply to a lot of communication tactics, politeness for example. Teach your children to use the simple, “please, thank you, excuse me, you’re welcome” phrasing and it will benefit them in the long run. Correct your children and then make them repeat again. Asking for things FOR your child, does not do them any favors and being their translator won’t help them learn independence either. I respect the necessity of assisting communication when necessary. But we need to really think about when it’s necessary versus when it’s just easier, for us. I have encountered lots of parents that respond to demands or grunts. At a certain age, grunting isn't trying. Give them the skills and expect them to use them. Every kid learns at a different pace, I know that and I am not an expert in child psychology or child development and I know there are shy kids out there and can speak but are timid about it. I am talking about parents that are willing to be the translator when their child is absolutely capable of communicating but isn't learning because why learn the proper way if somebody will just do it for you.
Please remember I am speaking as a mom with a non-autistic child to parents with non-autistic children. I know next to NOTHING about autism, I understand the basics but nothing about the difficulties and have nothing but respect for these parents. But if your kid is NOT autistic and has no reason NOT to communicate with words, please expect them to. Make them ask properly, make them speak for themselves, and make them do it correctly and in sentences.
Help Me Talk
1. Do not anticipate your child's every need or desire before he has a chance to communicate them to you with a word or a gesture.
2. Delay your response to your child's pointing or gestures when he wants things. Pretend you don't understand for 15-20 seconds and then respond appropriately. If he attempts to say any words, respond right away to teach him things happen faster when he uses words.
3. Label objects and actions in real life and in pictures. Give your child a chance to respond.
4. Use slow, clear, simple speech with your child. By the age of one, never use baby-talk to your child. If he mispronounces a word, repeat it back to him correctly, Example: If your child says "wa-wa" for water, you say, "water- yes, drink water." If he/she says "wabbit", you say, "I see a rabbit."
5. Read lots of books. Choose colorful books with simple pictures. Modify your reading depending on the age of the child. For younger children just say one or two words or a short sentence per page, rather than reading the words printed on the page.
6. Talk out-loud about what you are hearing and seeing, using simple words and short phrases.
7. Talk out-loud about what is happening to your child. Example: When your child is playing with a truck you might say, "push the truck, big truck, beep beep, truck stops."
8. Echo and expand what your child says. A child loves to hear his own words repeated back to him. If he/she says "allgone", you say "milk allgone." If he/she says "shoe", you say "take off shoe."
9. Once your child has said a word a few times, let him/her know you expect him/her to use the word. If your child has said "juice" but then just hold our his/her cup for more juice, say "I know you can say juice. Use your words."
10. Ask questions of your child and give him/her a chance to respond. Always praise attempts to communicate.
From my friend’s blog http://speakautism.blogspot.com/
1. Do not anticipate your child's every need or desire before he has a chance to communicate them to you with a word or a gesture.
2. Delay your response to your child's pointing or gestures when he wants things. Pretend you don't understand for 15-20 seconds and then respond appropriately. If he attempts to say any words, respond right away to teach him things happen faster when he uses words.
3. Label objects and actions in real life and in pictures. Give your child a chance to respond.
4. Use slow, clear, simple speech with your child. By the age of one, never use baby-talk to your child. If he mispronounces a word, repeat it back to him correctly, Example: If your child says "wa-wa" for water, you say, "water- yes, drink water." If he/she says "wabbit", you say, "I see a rabbit."
5. Read lots of books. Choose colorful books with simple pictures. Modify your reading depending on the age of the child. For younger children just say one or two words or a short sentence per page, rather than reading the words printed on the page.
6. Talk out-loud about what you are hearing and seeing, using simple words and short phrases.
7. Talk out-loud about what is happening to your child. Example: When your child is playing with a truck you might say, "push the truck, big truck, beep beep, truck stops."
8. Echo and expand what your child says. A child loves to hear his own words repeated back to him. If he/she says "allgone", you say "milk allgone." If he/she says "shoe", you say "take off shoe."
9. Once your child has said a word a few times, let him/her know you expect him/her to use the word. If your child has said "juice" but then just hold our his/her cup for more juice, say "I know you can say juice. Use your words."
10. Ask questions of your child and give him/her a chance to respond. Always praise attempts to communicate.
From my friend’s blog http://speakautism.blogspot.com/
Beautifully put, Mags.
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